From childhood, we are taught to be nice and polite and care about what others think and feel. But how many of us were taught to care about what you, yourself, think and feel? Were you taught to speak your mind, and to express yourself freely, really standing strong as your own unique and appreciated self? If you have – Fantastic! Kudos to your parents! Not enough of us have been, for sure. The good news is – it is never too late!
Many live their lives from an altruistic perspective, putting everyone else first and themselves second. Is this noble? Sure. Admirable? To many people – yes, it is but it isn’t actually a healthy way to live.
In order to truly show someone love, one must first love themselves and take care of themselves lest they use all of their energy up outwardly, wearing themselves down in the process. This type of selflessness can also lead to overstressing of the body and spirit and ultimately depression, illness, and even death.
At this point, you may be thinking that I am a selfish person. To this, I smile and say “Thank you.” Selfishness has gotten a bad rap. To be selfish means to think of one’s own needs first. The reality of it is, if you do not put yourself first, no one will. YOU are important. Let me say that again. YOU are important. Think of it in shorter scenario terms. Say you are about to be in a plane crash. What does the Airline Attendant always tell you in their little spiel before you take off? In the event of a crash, oxygen masks will drop from the compartments above your seats. Please put your oxygen mask on first before assisting other passengers. Why? Quite simply because you cannot help anyone else if you have passed out.
When people are angry with you, they often will accusingly call you selfish, intending it as an insult, when what they are really saying is that they are not pleased with your selfishness because they were trying to be selfish by making you put them first in front of you. Now they are angry because it did not work! Do you see how hypocritical this is? Yet many of us fall for it every time out of guilt.
Guilt is a useless toxic emotion in and of itself. If you know you are going to feel bad about something, the solution is simple. Don’t do it. Feeling bad and dwelling on something as an afterthought, when the action is in the past and cannot be changed, doesn’t help you or anyone else.
Negative thoughts are toxic.
I mean that very literally. They are dangerous to your emotional well being and your physical health. It is imperative that we let go of guilt as well as working on forgiveness – the forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others. Forgiveness is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Anger, allowing it to stew and holding onto a grudge doesn’t hurt the person you are mad at, it hurts you. Forgive others not for their benefit but for yours. However, if it’s on a subconscious level, how do we access that and figure out the root cause of our particular challenge?
One of the leading and respected authors on the subject of the mind-body connection is Louise L. Hay. Her acclaimed book “Body Talk” is an unmatched investigational resource for linking specific ailments to the emotional root attachment, as well as giving life-affirming mantras to help realign the energy in a positive way, which in turn brings about healing.
In “Body Talk”, Louise gives you a virtual alphabetical listing of ailments from:
Acne – which stems from the root cause of “Not accepting the self. Dislike of the self” which makes perfect sense as to why this is an affliction during the turbulent teen years when you are just starting to know yourself and get comfortable in your own skin. To help heal the issue, the daily recommended mantra is “I am a Divine expression of life. I love and accept myself where I am right now.”
The book also delves into more dangerous manifestations like cancer, which at the soul root comes from “Deep hurt. Long-standing resentment. Deep secrets or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds. A feeling of ‘what’s the use?’” The mantra to get your thoughts back on the right path according to Ms. Hay is “I lovingly forgive and release all of the past. I choose to fill my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.” I highly recommend this book as a staple in your home library collection for frequent use.
This is confirmed as well by Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer in his book “New Medicine, and Healing Cancer & Your Mind”. He says, “Failing to take action to solve long-standing life conflicts in the inner worlds, cancer is known as the ‘butterfly disease’. Like a butterfly, the cancer patient has to struggle to break out of the ‘cocoon’ of their disease or die in the attempt. More often than not, the cancer ‘victim’ has a pattern of long-standing life problems that have been ‘eating them up inside’.
Their inability or unwillingness to effectively deal with these problems is what created the cancerous cocoon to begin with. Often, cancer is the manifestation of the person’s conflicting desires to escape the situation and to ‘keep things as they are’ because change is too scary or painful. Cancer becomes the means of escape that many take by doing nothing to stop it from leading them to a final solution.”
Once you understand these concepts it starts to become a little easier to see where one’s own thought and action patterns have played into the current dilemma. The other thing to consider is if you believe in reincarnation and pre-birth planning, you may have very well agreed to experience this illness for your own personal growth.
Illness always has a purpose. Illness is meant to propel you on a journey of the inner self that you may have not taken otherwise. When you get stuck in the day-to-day — filling your time with work, drudgery and tasks, you are often not caring for yourself properly. Your energy is not aligned with your higher self, causing split energy. This can be exhausting making you feel run down, tired, depressed and even sick. When you are in alignment, your energy body and your physical body move freely and almost effortlessly together.
When you feel “in the flow”, which is sometimes referred to as being “in right brain mode”, you may experience sensations like a feeling time has stood still, or the opposite, that time has just flown by – hence the expression “time flies when you’re having fun!” Things come easily to you and without much effort. You feel harmonious and peaceful and happy. Artists often thought to operate from the right side of the brain experience this when working on their craft. Writers are a wonderful example as well. When a writer is in the flow, the vortex, working in right brain mode, whatever you choose to call it — words come easily. Thoughts spill out on to the page with seeming effortlessness, but when they are out of alignment, they are at odds and pull against each other. It is experienced as a “writer’s block”, a stifling of creative energy, and oftentimes frustration soon follows. The more you try and force it, the more frustrated you get. This happens with sleep as well! Nights when you cannot fall asleep, what’s happening is that you are not allowing yourself to drift off “into alignment.”
So what can you do to get into alignment?
Anything that makes you feel even just a little better is helpful. Be kind to yourself. Do things that make you feel good, that make you happy. Make time for yourself, even if it’s only a quick 15 minutes stolen away in a bubble bath.
Soothing yourself into alignment is the most important job you as a healthy happy human have!
Who is this “higher self” I keep referring to anyway? It is you, just not the physical you. It is the level of your consciousness that resides in the ether watching over you, helping to guide you (if you will listen). It is “that little voice” that we all have. It is the pure energy, pure love version of yourself and you are magnificent if you will just open up to it and allow.
This is all very interesting, but what about my cancer?
Words are powerful. Each one has a power and magic held in its vibration that is uniquely its own. For this reason, I suggest not taking ownership and calling it “my cancer”. That implies it will be making itself comfortable putting its feet up and staying a while, which it most certainly will not! “This too shall pass” is another wonderful mantra to say daily.
Monitoring your thoughts and becoming more positive takes time and practice. But your body really does respond to your thoughts so make them count and think good ones! Tell your body that you love and appreciate it. (Yes, you may feel silly, even downright stupid doing some of this at first. Just humor me.) Go stand in the mirror. Look at yourself and say “I love you. You are a wonderful body and I am thankful you are mine.” If you are really brave, do it naked.
Think to yourself. “I am healthy, I am well.” “Every day in every way I am getting better and better and better.” “Everything I eat turns to health and beauty”, and so on. If you catch yourself thinking something negative – celebrate! For that is a wonderful sign of progress. It means you are becoming aware!
Use these as opportunities and as a tool to clear old negative programming and replace it with new, fresh, better for you thoughts, when you do. Be easy on yourself. No one gets this 100% right just out of the gate.
When you notice a negative thought, simply stop. Say “Cancel, cancel, cancel” and then replace it with a more positive one. For example, if the thought crept into your mind,, “Ugh, I feel so lazy and tired.” say out loud or in your head, “cancel, cancel, cancel” and replace it with something along the lines of “Every day I have more and more energy.” After a while, you will no longer need to say or think the cancel part. It is merely a tool that helps you direct your thoughts as you can’t actually retract thoughts back in from the Universe. That would be exhausting and, quite frankly, a misdirection of focus. You can, however, correct them and make the good ones the ones that count! A positive thought is vastly more powerful than a negative one.
Visualization is another incredibly powerful tool. When you picture yourself…do not see yourself as ill. Always see yourself as well. Picture what you want, not what you currently are. You are your very own work of art, so sculpt away!
This is easier for some of us than others. Some have visual imaginations and when someone says to you, “picture this”, you see images in your mind’s eye. For others who are not naturally kinesthetically visual, this can be a frustrating task.
When we say, “see yourself as well”, you don’t get a picture in your head, so what do you do? Let’s make it a tactile and tangible thing instead. Even for those of us who can “see it”, this is a wonderful (and fun) thing to do. So go find some paper, scissors, glue and your very favorite picture of yourself where you are in a good state of health. Grab a travel magazine or Better Homes and Gardens or something of the like and a nice cold glass of lemonade or a warm steamy comforting cup of tea – whatever makes you happiest.
Sit down in your favorite spot and cut and paste the old fashioned way. First, cut your happy healthy picture of you out of its background. Now, find a picture in a magazine or pictures if you like, that represents to you happiness, health, comfort, fun and love. Choose things you would like to be surrounded by in your life. Colors, images, people, places and things that make you feel alive and the food you love to eat. Tear them from their binding and snip away! Glue or paste them on to a piece of paper, cardboard, or a canvas and put yourself, happy, right in the middle of it all. You are the star in your own life after all!
There are no rules, no right way or wrong way. Your art should be as one of a kind as you are. Once this masterpiece is finished and dry, hang it somewhere in your home where you will see it every single day. This will help you see yourself as you truly are and will be…. Well!
So far these are all conscious actions I have asked you to take, but what about the subconscious? If that is really who is running the show alongside the higher self, how do I get in touch with them? Do they have email?
While that would be lovely, it’s not quite the way it works. Although, accessing your subconscious is not as difficult as one might think. This is where meditation comes in handy.
Meditation is the silencing of the mind in order to connect with your higher self, subconscious, the Universe or God. Meditation can be done by anyone, anywhere, at any time. It just takes focus and practice. And the good news is that all you need is you.
There are varied schools of thought on specific meditation techniques, but all have the same universal elements in common.
1. Find a peaceful, quiet location where you can sit or lay unbothered or interrupted for a length of time. 15 minutes minimum and there is no maximum.
2. Pick a position you will be comfortable in for an extended length of time. It can be lying down, sitting up, or for more advanced students, even standing or walking. Please try to always keep your spine straight, as this is your major energy channel.
3. Set the mood. Candles, incense, music or sounds – anything that helps you personally relax. It is important not to have the television or radio on during this, as it is constantly advertising to you and attempting to influence your subconscious for its own gain.
4. Most importantly, set your intention to be open. Let go of the surroundings, of any distractions, and bring your focus inward. Setting your intention just means to decide in your own mind that this (fill in your intention here) is what you want/are choosing for yourself.
When you first meditate you will likely find your mind wandering. Our minds tend to be full of things we need to do, are considering, things people have said and so on. The mind is like a 3-year-old who has been given multiple shots of espresso. It’s ok, don’t let this frustrate you. Allow the thoughts to come and go and as they do, breathe deeply. Do this over and over again until you begin to feel a sense of lightness to your physical body.
There are many breathing methods that can be used. The one I feel works best is: as you begin to relax, breathe in deeply and slowly. Hold that breath as long as it is comfortable and then slowly release. Repeat this 10-20 times. Focusing on your breathing helps you have something to concentrate on besides actual words that come into your head.
When beginning to meditate, sometimes a completely clear and quiet mind seems too much of an unreachable goal. It is less daunting to start with a mantra. A mantra is a set of powerful keywords to focus on. Repeat them in your mind over and over. This helps to hold the space in your thoughts without being bombarded with your grocery list or worries about work.
Being general is a good way to begin. For example, “I allow and release all that is no longer in my best and highest interest with ease and grace.” Make sure you keep the “with ease and grace” portion in there. In this manner, things will go far more smoothly for you. Feel free to modify your own personal mantra to fit you. There are no hard and fast rules for meditation as we are all unique entities, in and of ourselves. Some things that work well for one may not be right for another and vice versa.
Music is also a wonderful way to help guide your focus. It takes you out of content and puts you into content – out of the linear and into the non-linear. The best choices are those without actual lyrics, as words will guide your mind in a particular direction – distracting you from your own thoughts, images and impressions. Crystal bowl music, soft chanting, mellow instrumental; the choice is very much personal preference.
Guided meditations are also fantastic and highly recommended for beginners and are also beneficial for advanced meditative students as well. They take you on a journey through use of guided imagery and sound. They can be tremendously beneficial as you can choose what you would like to experience by topic and genre. It is important to choose a guide whose voice resonates comfortably with you. Having listened to several, if the person’s voice is at all irritating to you, it just won’t work as that is all you are able to focus on. Simply stop the audio, and choose another one.
It seems that most of the information out there on meditation is focused on the how. There is very little written on meditative experiences themselves and what you may encounter. So lets delve into that realm, shall we?
I’m sure that, to many, all of this seems very abstract in concept. Talking to your higher self and so forth. When it comes to intuitive endeavors, everyone experiences them a little differently. There are primarily four avenues to experience this connection through, though most people tend to be a mix of the four rather than just one singular expression.
Visual – They see pictures and colors and images in their minds eye.
Sensory – Sensory oriented people experience things by feeling them physically.
Auditory – these people may hear actual words or voices and sounds.
Clairvoyant – Clairvoyants simply have a sense of intuitively knowing. This goes for meditation as well.
As you start to meditate, set your intention for that particular session. Ask for guidance on a question or subject. Ask for healing. Ask for release. If you have a medical diagnosis or condition already such as cancer, ask for healing and for the tumor to be dissolved and leave your body easily and painlessly. You can do this out loud or quietly to yourself in your head. Whatever you are more comfortable with and feels right to you is the appropriate choice.
Consciously visualize or concentrate on the area of your body that needs healing. Picture it surrounded in a bright white healing light. Picture the tumor breaking down and being washed away. See it leaving your body. Setting your intent through meditation and visualization is much like tossing a penny into a wishing well. First, you must concentrate. Then, toss and let it go. Then just allow your mind to quiet. You will be surprised what comes up for you.
The music plays or the guide on the audio meditation begins. As you start breathing deeply you begin to feel a lightness about you. You can feel your body starting to relax and soften. You may sometimes notice a sinking feeling as if you are floating downward within yourself. Breathing becomes easier and even your facial muscles start to relax. You may feel the first effects in the palms of your hands or the temples and crown of your head as a light tingling or pulsing. It is very pleasant.
It is normal for these sensations to come and go throughout the meditation. Beneath your closed eyelids you may see changing colors, patterns, or even vivid images. Just let them come without judgment, analysis or question. Some will strike you as important while others will be just passing flickers like frames from a movie.
Breathe and think to yourself, “I allow. I am open.” It is likely you will feel an increase in energy as you do so. You may also feel different sensations and there is no limit to these and what you may experience. Some examples would be feeling like water droplets are falling on you, hands touching you, feeling like you are weightless, or being lifted. You might also experience sharp little weird pin pokes, pressure on the crown of your head and so on. You may also have muscle twitches that are involuntary. These are releases of built up, previously blocked energy. All of these experiences are uniquely yours. Experience them openly knowing that you are safe always.
In all cases, you will only experience and see what you are ready to. Your higher self will never throw you in the deep end of the pool just to see if you sink. In some cases, you may even experience visions or a sense of reliving scenes from a past life. Just allow it to come and breathe through it. Crying and intense emotion are not at all unusual. This is a great release as these are things held on to for such a long time, even from lifetime to lifetime. When personally translated, they are also often found to have a direct correlation to the current life and often allow for healing in the present tense.
How do you use this technique to keep you healthy?
In our modern society, the body to spirit connection is often overlooked. To be truly healthy, it’s a two-sided coin. You can eat all the right foods and work out, taking all the supplements in the world, but if you aren’t spiritually healthy it’s not complete. This works in reverse as well. You can meditate until the cows come home, but if you never use your body physically, it will soon soften and deteriorate. Balance is key in all things, but especially so in health.
By cleansing and unclogging your spirit (through the establishment of connection) you are opening up the channel from the physical self to the higher self for better, more open, communication and a more complete YOU. This allows a flow of energy, which is incredibly healing. Think of meditation as spiritual Drano.
Automatic writing is another tremendously useful technique that requires only you, a pen or pencil, paper and a little bit of quiet time. Set aside between 15 minutes to an hour. This is sometimes also referred to as Trance Writing because it is directed by spirit or your subconscious. It doesn’t matter what you write. Just start writing. Keep your mind as clear as possible. Anything at all that comes into your head: symbols, words – jot it down and keep writing as fast as you can. Try not to consciously write anything and never correct or rewrite. If you get to a pause, start a new line and write whatever letter comes to your mind first and go from there. This is total free association. Allowing yourself to be receptive during this is key. When you sit down to write state your intent to allow thoughts and feelings to flow. To allow whatever needs to come out to do so at this time. You will be amazed at the words that will spill out on to the page that you were not even aware you had been thinking about. It may take a few times. Be patient with yourself. When you do start getting results, try asking a question before starting. There are no hard and fast rules. This is about as free flowing as it gets! For an additional twist, try doing this exercise with your less dominant hand (if you are right-handed, use your left or if you are left-handed use your right hand).
For something a little more directed, another very interesting audio course I discovered is “Overcoming Self Sabotage” by Debbie Ford. Debbie Ford, the creator of The Shadow Process, is an internationally recognized expert in the field of personal transformation. A pioneering force in incorporating the study and integration of the shadow into modern psychological and spiritual practices, Debbie’s work is based on the core belief that outer transformation occurs when we experience an internal shift in perception.
This course can be found online at .
If you are not moving steadily in the direction of what you say you want, you can be certain that you are sabotaging yourself somewhere. In this on-line course from #1 New York Times best-selling author Debbie Ford, you will learn 14 key lessons to help you overcome self-sabotage.
As we come to understand the mechanisms and patterns that underlie self-sabotage, we begin to free ourselves. We begin to allow ourselves to interact with ourselves and the world with greater success, joy, and fulfillment. Overcoming self-sabotage and finding the wisdom inside the wounds you’ve endured is one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with yourself. Honor it and know that it will change your life.
This 8 week course contains powerful lessons every 4 days that includes specific information about how to overcome different aspects of self-sabotage, a new audio guided meditation each lesson to help you directly access your innate wisdom, and tangible action steps to help you take the steps in order to release the past and step into a new level of consciousness.
Overcoming Self Sabotage
Taking Inventory of Your Biggest Life Lessons
Breaking Through Toxic Emotions
Discovering Your Unmet Needs
Breaking the Trance of Denial
Maybe You’re Just Hurt
Uncovering Unconscious Patterns
Feeling Safe in the Face of Fear
The Destruction of Hidden Rage
Are Your Excuses Keeping You Stuck?
The Gifts of Standing in Your Power
The Sacred State of Surrender
Making Peace with Your Pain
Healing the Split Between Ego and Spirit
This is indeed a transformational course. I never considered myself to be particularly self-sabotaging, nor did I think after much of the self-awareness trainings I had done I had much left to uncover.
Looking back I see how naive I was. Through the 8 weeks of this course, I uncovered things I had no idea I was still mad about (or indeed had ever actually been mad about in the first place), frustrated over or deeply saddened because of going all the way back to age 4. It helped me not only uncover these issues, but see how they translated into the way I viewed and related to the world, as well as ultimately heal them for me.
Along the road of self-awareness and discovery, there will always be those who declare themselves Masters or Guru’s in their chosen fields. You can, of course, gain much knowledge from some of them and it is wonderful to have someone as a guide. However, be assured there is nothing that they are doing that you, yourself, are not able to do with practice and time. There is no need to feel intimidated by their accomplishments. We are all special and we are all connected. We never need to measure our lives by any other – all paths are unique and not one is better than another. By being open you take the first step.
There is never any need to judge your life or gains by anyone else’s standards as we are all on our own track.
Trust in the Universe that you are loved, supported and always in the right place where you need to be at that current time. You, my dear human, are the most perfect version of you that you have ever been. Right here, right now, and you are getting better and better every day. The sooner you realize and believe this, the sooner you will be back to health.
Stay Tuned for Part 3!
This was originally published as an ebook but as I felt this was very important for people to hear I am blogging it for free.