Kids look to their parents to see who they are as new little people in this world. Their parent’s feelings, actions, and word greatly help to shape the way that that child views themselves. Ask yourself – What am I teaching my child?
Do your words build them up or tear them down?
Are they encouraging?
Are they loving?
Are they supportive?
Do you discipline when needed with a fair hand?
There are no black and white/right or wrong hard lines on parenting. No two parents are the same. There are some guidelines though that should be followed if you wish to raise a self-thinker with good self-esteem.
Don’t coddle – By doing everything for them they cannot learn to be self-sufficient. It may be tempting to help them do things like solve puzzles or homework by doing it for them, but by doing that it teaches dependence on you and instills a feeling of “maybe I am not smart enough.”
Don’t talk down to your kids – regardless of age, kids are far from stupid. Being condescended to feels bad and degrading as an adult and it is no different for a child. Speak to them at their level but like an equal.
Let them answer for themselves – If someone asks “Oh, how old is Billy?” Even if they directed that question to you, turn it over to them. Look at your child and ask “She is asking you a question. How old are you?” – Unless they are very young, they know how old they are. They are proud to answer questions and know answers. Allow them to show off what they have learned.
Teach them to stand up for themselves – Bullying has become an enormous problem in recent years, but what we need to accept is that it isn’t just the bullies who are at fault. While of course, you do not ever want to teach children that fighting is the answer to problems, teaching them that no one has the right to treat them badly and that it is perfectly ok to stand up and defend yourself is key. It instills a core belief of “I am worthy.”
Teach them empathy and kindness towards others – being able to put yourself in another person’s shoes and show compassion is vital to being a good person who feels on a core level good about themselves. The best way to teach this, and possibly the only way to teach this, is to lead by example.
The child based programs at Monarch Wellness help boost self-esteem and teach kids interpersonal skills. To learn more please visit www.monarchwellness.net
Words are powerful. When spoken with intention they can lift you up or crush your spirit. The problem is that many of us speak without thinking, especially in the heat of the moment, and unfortunately words that cannot be unsaid can last a lifetime.
The words of others have helped to shape who we are, how we think, how we view the world, and more importantly how we see ourselves. But what if the view we have been given isn’t accurate?
Often these embedded thoughts have been spoken through filters of other people’s views, projecting their insecurities, weaknesses and anger on to us.
One of the most powerful statements I have heard spoken is “Mean people hurt”.
It holds a double meaning and a vicious circle effect. Those who are angry towards others do hurt them through their words and actions, but they have also been hurt and are hurting or they would not feel the need to lash out.
Choosing to live consciously, pause and think before speaking and break that repetitive destructive cycle is the only way free.
This little story “The Fence” is one of the most poignant illustrations I have ever come across and I wanted to share it with you.
“There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.” You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later.” – Author Unknown
Treat others as you yourself would like and expect to be treated. It will come back to you either way.
Originally Published: Alberta Street News – “Back on Track” Column, Sarah J. Barendse
Lysol kills 99% of germs. We, as humans, are living organisms as well. Is it really safe for us?
Lysol makes a whole host of products but the classic Lysol most of us think of when we hear the name is the disinfectant spray. The goodguide.com gives it a personal safety rating of only 5 out of 10. *Please visit http://www.goodguide.com/about/ratings for a full rating explanation.
I find it interesting that in looking at a container in person there is no ingredients list on it at all so you have to do a little digging to find out what it is you are spraying and wiping all over your home and absorbing into your body.
What is Lysol made of? Lets look at the ingredients:
Ethyl Alcohol – Can cause developmental toxicity, gastrointestinal and liver toxicity, neurotoxicity, and skin toxicity.
Water – inert
Butane – Can cause cause neurotoxicty
Propane – Can cause cause neurotoxicty as well as respiratory
Ethanolamine – Undetermined
Fragrance – Unregulated, could literally be anything
n-alkyl Dimethyl Benzyl Ammonium Chlorides – Can cause immunotoxicity, respiratory toxicity, skin and organ toxicity, and can cause asthma. It has been restricted for use in cosmetics in both Canada and Japan.
Lysol is a VOC (Volatile Organic Compound) that has been shown to lower IQ in children developmentally. In a report by CBC Marketplace, Toxicologist Shawn Ellis, President of Building Health Center Inc, went to various peoples homes testing air quality in the rooms where their cleaning products were kept.
Lysol was the worst offender. Lysol Disinfectant Spray, which registered almost 1,200 parts per million (ppm), roughly 1,000 times higher than the Clorox Wipes and equal to 1,200 drops in an Olympic-size pool (VOC levels exceeding 500 ppb can lead to health risks for people with chemical sensitivities.). VOC levels over 500 ppb could be a problem for people with chemical sensitivities, according to the report.
Exposure during pregnancy is leading to children with lower IQ’s who have a hard time dealing with stress as well as social situations. Language and motor skills decrease. Lower scores are shown as well in memory, attention and verbal skills.
Dr Gideon Koren, a pediatrician at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and co-author of the study was quoted as saying “As one of the most advanced countries in the world, how can we allow these chemicals to enter our households without the appropriate testing to see that they’re safe?”
The good news is that there are safe alternatives on the market. Healthy Home Company makes a great Toxic Free Lysol alternative. It is called “Clean” and it most certainly lives up to its name.
Clean is made from organic, Ecocert, ToxicFree®, and natural ingredients that remove hard water and tough stains, yet is completely biodegradable and safe. It replaces over 10 products in your home, including the bathroom, laundry room and kitchen, effectively cutting through stubborn grease and more. Clean can replace dish soaps, laundry detergents, floor cleaning products and multipurpose cleaners for counters, windows, mirrors and furniture. It is anti-microbial and inhibits bacteria, mold and yeast growth.