Life Isn’t a Contest

Keeping up with the Joneses has become a national pass time. Bigger, better, faster, more – we are a living in a consumeristic society. Materialism has taken hold and become a staple especially in the younger generations.

How much do you really need and why?

Basic needs come down to food and shelter. There are over half a million homeless in the United States alone in 2019. It seems like we need a reality check some times. If you have a job, a car, a home (rented or not), food to eat, and clothes to wear – Yes, you are blessed.

Beyond the basics

Once we have our basic needs covered, it is human nature to want more. We all want money to upgrade all of the basic necessities, to travel and enjoy life, to take care of our health and wellbeing. There is nothing wrong with working hard and enjoying the fruits of your labors. The American dream has long been a self sustaining abundant life.

More and more though it feels like many are not appreciative or grateful for everything they have. They run around comparing their lives to everyone else’s. When they don’t match up or exceed, sometimes they fall in to the trap of feeling not good enough, which leads to depression. To judge based on outside appearances only gives a false reading.

“The true measure of a man is how much he would be worth if he lost everything.”

We have some how propagated the idea that the one who accumulates the most and dies with the most toys wins. Im not knocking money, having money, or being rich. I am fully in favor of all three. What I am knocking is the idea that more money makes you a better person or guarantees that you have a better life.

Fact is there are plenty of depressed miserable people in every tax bracket.

Where Joy Comes From

The simple answer is within. Rather than focusing on what you don’t have, try flipping the script and focus on what you do have – what you are happy for, what you appreciate, your health if you have it, your friends, family, your pets, anything that makes you feel good at any level.

Like attracts like. Opposites do not attract, at least not on a vibrational level. When you give your attention to something you bring in more of it – good or bad. If you focus on always being broke… chances are that streak will continue. Stop it.

When you stop and look around and realize that your life isn’t a contest and the destination isn’t the end all be all, the beauty is in the NOW. It makes it easier to realize you are likely doing better than you may have thought.

At the end of life, no one says “Oh I wish I had worked more” They say “I wish I had spent more time taking a breath, appreciating the little things, and actually saying yes to experiences”.

There is only one you. You are living a life no one else will ever get to live and experience. Make it your own and enjoy it

Discordant Energy

While friends don’t always need to agree on everything there comes a point in many friendships where there just isn’t enough left in common to maintain the bond. Discord becomes the key element and you find yourself being off-put by that person’s energy rather than drawn in as you used to be. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore or that any love you had for them is gone, it does sometimes mean that you may both be better off moving on in life, separately.

Life is to be enjoyed harmoniously with the universe and with others. Anything that seems in opposition to that needs to be released for your own highest good as well as that of the other person.

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Like attracts Like – What are you inviting into your life?

Do you live in a mode of gratitude? Do you take the time to sit back and evaluate your life and really realize just how lucky you are?

“Who me? I’m not lucky…” you may be thinking.

That simply isn’t true. We all have things we can be thankful for…

Our health

Our friends

Our pets

Maybe the place we live or a person in our life

A favorite restaurant

The smell of your favorite flower

A good glass of wine

The freedom to go outside and feel the wind in our hair

To live in a place with year-round sunshine

and on and on…

Sit down and make a list of all of the things, people, and places that bring you joy and that you love. List anything that makes you even the slightest bit happy.

You may be surprised how long the list gets.

 

This may seem silly when in reality it is vitally important to do on a fairly regular basis. There is such a generally pessimistic cloud over American society today that we easily fall into the trap of complaining and looking on the downside.

 

It’s a law of nature that we are bound to attract what we feel and think about most of the time. If you focus on the negative and what you do not like in your life, you actually invite more of the same to come to fruition. Which is exactly what you do not want.

 

It takes time, patience with yourself, and practice to change your focus. But when you are focused on gratitude, fear begins to disappear and abundance appears in its place.

 

Visit www.monarchwellness.com for more blogs on self-help, friendship, relationships, happiness, life, yoga, therapy, healing, as well as local events and classes.

Originally Published: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/04/like-attracts-like-what-are-you-inviting-into-your-life/

Relinquishing the need to save others

It is the human condition to want to help. It is kind and proper to do your best to be good to others. It is in everyone’s best interest. – Or, is it?

Helping others helps our humanity. We feel good when we truly perform gestures of kindness. The problem comes in when that kindness is taken advantage of. When you end up with certain individuals in your life that come to expect you to constantly help. They can begin to cross that line from needing an occasional favor to needing and worse expecting you to be there at the drop of the hat every time something goes wrong.

You become their lifeline, their knight in shining armor.

It can be time-consuming, emotionally draining, physically draining, and even push the limits of their life taking time away from and precedence over your own. Learning to say “no” becomes vital to your own wellbeing. The problem is that with these types of friendships or relationships along with saying “no”, often comes guilt. You want the best for that person and it was in your realm of possibility to help them (again). But this time you didn’t. How do you justify that? – Not to them, but to yourself.

It is important to think about things from a different perspective. When it is all about them, yes the perspective is “feel bad” “you should have helped”. But in reality how good of a friend is that person being to you by expecting you to help take care of their life issues all of the time? Is that kind on their part, is it thoughtful, does it take into account your feelings?

The answer is No.

The best way to keep balance in any friendship or relationship is to establish balance and boundaries. When it’s all give and no take on one side the energy and the friendship are not balanced. Constantly trying to save someone, no matter how much you love them not only wears you out, it actually disempowers that person.

If you need to regain some balance back in your life Monarch Wellness can help. We offer a wide array of classes and one on one sessions. Please visit www.monarchwellness.net to learn more or schedule.

Originally posted: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/03/relinquishing-the-need-to-save-others/

Directions for a Happy Easy Flowing Life

As humans, I think we have a tendency to over think things.

We are so smart, we seem to outsmart ourselves.

We spend endless amounts of time pondering rather than feeling our way through things and actually acting on those feelings.

Why?
I have no idea.
Do you?

I think it may very well be a trained behavior
. As kids the advice most of us received was “Now (fill in your name), you want to think about this before you decide….” Our parents and advisers most certainly meant well. But decisions based on logical thought vs. gut intuition aren’t always in our best interest. We really can talk ourselves into pretty much anything, given enough time.

By adulthood most of us realize that in our lives, the times we have ignored “that little inner voice” (call it your higher self, inner self, God, The Universe, intuition – choose your label), things go terribly wrong.

Yet, even in consciously realizing this, we still question it.
We choose often “rational” thought over gut feeling.

It takes time and practice to be guided by intuition. Feelings are a gift. They are intended to be our GPS in life. Stop over complicating things.

Directions for a happy easy flowing life:

1. If it makes you happy or feel positive about yourself and the situation around you?
KEEP DOING IT!

2. If it makes you unhappy or feel badly about yourself or the situation around you?
STOP DOING IT.

Can’t believe it’s that easy?
Try it and see what results you get.