The Art of Non-Attachment

We all want the very best for friends and family. Many of us have a tendency to take on other people’s problems as if they were our own. We do it out of love, but ironically it can often lead to codependency in relationships as well as self-neglect. I speak from experience in this. My natural inclination in life has been to try and “save” the world, especially those closest to me. Unfortunately, I have found it just doesn’t work that way.

 

It is difficult to watch someone make, what you believe to be, bad decision after bad decision leading his or her life in a negative or non-progressing direction. We want to intervene, even at times – to grab them and shake them and say “what are you doing!?” and literally shove them in a better direction.

 

What we have to realize is that as much as we love or care about them that no one can make decisions for them. The only person who can rescue them… is them.

 

Why do I call Non-Attachment an art?

 

I call it an art because as easy as the concept is, it takes years, sometimes lifetimes to master.

 

It is easy to be jokingly callous and step back saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys”. But it’s heart wrenching and unnerving at times to pull back, relinquish the illusion of control, and simply allow that person and situation to be what it is and to work itself out.

Now in saying this I do not at all mean withdraw love or support.

A simple “I am still here and I love you.” Is one of the best statements of caring you can make to another person. There is no better gift than that of unconditional love. In that gift it allows the other person to know that it is ok to try – succeed or fail, you won’t think less of them and you will still be there.

 

This also allows you the mental and emotional space you need in order to take care of yourself. Getting lost in another person’s issues, regardless of love, is never healthy.

 

In order for anyone to reclaim their life and get it “Back on Track” that drive and power have to come from within. Owning responsibility for their decisions and their actions will lead them to a place of control and from that feeling of self empowerment comes both self esteem and the start of self love.

Written for: The Alberta Street News – Back on Track Column. Columnist: Sarah J. Barendse


Sarah’s Top Picks: Non-Toxic Personal and Household Products!

For several years now I have been writing about how toxic our worlds have become including our own households. It has been an adventure in label reading and research trying to find alternatives to the everyday grocery and department store stocked chemical laden products we are used to.

 

My first goal started with finding products that have not been animal tested. From there I then added to that wanting ingredients that you could pronounce and recognize as well as know that they are from nature and not scientifically created and safe to use on your body and in your home.

 

I do not mean GRAS (Generally Recognized As Safe – The FDA’s sticker of approval) I mean that they are actually healthy to use and not damaging to the body in any way.

 

The two are totally different categories as the FDA has approved levels of highly toxic, corrosive and carcinogenic substances in just about everything on the market.

 

It has been trial and error once finding items that meet the criteria.

Many products, though the ingredients are good, just don’t work well.

 

I have wasted a lot of time and money over the past few years. In doing so I think I can save you some legwork and give you a point in the right direction.

 

PRODUCTS THAT WORK AND KEEP YOU HEALTHY!


 

HOUSEHOLD CLEANING:

CLEAN by Healthy Home Company is the only product I seem to need!

CLEAN brings back memories of childhood, when ad campaigns all said that your dishes should be “squeaky clean”… with CLEAN, they actually squeak! Plus it smells like tangerines which makes you actually want to clean. Aromatic motivation!

*This has been incredible for my shower doors and for washing my dog! I don’t really need any other cleaner besides this. Though they also make one called TOUGH for stains and gooier or tougher jobs.

*This also works for laundry detergent!


 

PERSONAL CARE:

 LOTION: I am completely in love with the lotion from Healthy Home. It is super easy to find in your drawer because well, it’s named LOTION. Smooth, silky, fast absorbing – it works wonderfully on your entire body, face included.

 

BUY SPRAY: REPEL – Healthy Home – This spray on is non aerosol and smells nice. Bugs don’t seem to think so though. I put it on myself and my dog before going for a walk and we remain bite free!

 

SUNBLOCK: Yep, Healthy Home again. SPF 32 with no chemicals. Amazing! One of the biggest causes of skin cancer is not the sun, it is the chemicals used in commercial sunscreens. Highly recommend if you feel you must use a sunscreen.

DEODORANT: Ok this was the toughest of the tough for me to find. I have tried probably two dozen different kinds and most of them are just not effective and even in some cases caused me to sweat! FRESH from Healthy Homes is an alcohol base (so don’t shave your underarms right before putting it on – I found that out the hard way). Spray on, let it dry and you are good to go all day! Without the dangerous aluminum and other chemicals common in deodorants and antiperspirants. Though this isn’t an antiperspirant, I don’t seem to sweat while wearing it.

 

TOOTH PASTE:

Doterra’s ON GUARD tooth paste is amazing. It tastes like Celestial Seasoning’s Orange Zinger tea and truly helps freshen, clean and heal your mouth, gums and teeth. It contains essential oils and no fluoride.

SMILE – By Healthy Home is their new tooth paste which is also a fantastic choice.

 

MOUTHWASH:
Make your own – Pinch of pink salt, water, and 1 drop of essential oil (peppermint, on guard blend from doterra, wild orange, or other oil of your choice (make sure its one that can be taken internally). Swish, gargle and rinse!

 

SHAMPOO:
SHAMPOO (Named just that) From Healthy Home is fantastic. As is doTERRA’s Salon essentials. However, if you have color treated hair? These will suck the color out of them super fast. They are detoxifying shampoos and hair dye is toxic.
If your hair is color treated? – Best so far has been PomSmooth Shampoo by Juice Organics.

 

CONDITIONER:
PomSmooth Conditioner by Juice Organics Hair Care. Healthy and good!

 

FACIAL SCRUB:
Amber’s Earth Buffing Grains hands down beat most facials. It exfoliates and cleanses the skin leaving it smooth.

 

FACE WASH:
The Vermont Soap Company’s Honey Soap. Honey is a citrus clove blend with notes added from local honey. I use this right after the scrub.

 

PERFUMES:
Once you get used to using organic items I have to tell you, perfumes? Stink! I can’t even consider spraying myself with them anymore. As the fragrance industry is not regulated literally anything can be used, however toxic. I like to use oils. Essential oils by themselves though do not have much staying power, so it is best to mix them in an oil base. You can do it yourself or buy blends. My favorites so far come from Esoterica in New Orleans.  Money oil and Aquarius oil are what I personally choose, but of course choose your own!

 

MAKE UP:

Juice Beauty is where I have finally landed in buying make up. Commercial make up is terrible for your body. It can contain a whole array of chemicals where as this is organic. Their formulations are made without parabens, petroleum, propylene or butylene glycol, sodium lauryl sulfates, pesticides, phthalates, artificial dyes or synthetic fragrances. Their products are never tested on animals. It combines juice extracts and minerals.

 

SHAVING CREAM:

I have started just using the Vermont Honey Soap to shave. It works just as well without all the chemicals in shaving cream.

CHAPSTICK:
Moldavite Essence Lip Balm – 
by Gaia’s Healing Gifts. This is the smoothest lip balm I have ever used. It is not waxy at all and keeps your lips from getting chapped.


 

There is no need to flood your body with chemicals in order to maintain the status quo appearance…. Thanks to companies like these – We no longer have to die to be beautiful.


 

I highly recommend that you click through to all of the linked sites as they offer tons more products than I have mentioned in this article!

Sincerely,

Sarah