Your Self Awareness Guide

  1. The Whys?

Ask yourself why you are making the decision you are… what is your motivation? Often we make snap decisions without really understanding the basis behind them. Take the time to understand what drives you and your choices.

 

  1. STOP

When faced with a choice or decision, it often feels like the response should be immediate. Look before you leap is a wise old adage. Before reacting, just stop. Pause. Wait… simmer a bit. This helps you to remain at cause rather than ending up at the mercy of effect.

 

  1. Explain

Practice articulating how you feel without placing blame on others. When you remain responsible for your choices and actions, you retain the power.

 

  1. Deny

Mastering self-control is vital. Say “No” to yourself sometimes. Work on refusing temptations which do not benefit you, and especially any that could cause harm.

 

  1. Play Lawyer

Or Devil’s Advocate – flip the script and see things from an opposing view. Sometimes this can help open your perspective or even strengthen the view already held.

 

  1. Take Responsibility

Hold yourself accountable for your actions, flaws, mistakes and consequences of actions. Breaking agreements, even with yourself can be damaging to the psyche.

 

  1. Enough with the negative self-talk!

Just stop it. Drop the critical commentary. Celebrate your wins and forgive yourself any perceived failures. Most failures are simply lessons – we learn and next time are better prepared.

 

  1. Find a Mentor

Feedback is vital. Find someone whose opinion you respect and let them help guide you.

 

  1. What is your body saying?

Are you aware of your body? Do you notice your own stance, posture, gate and hand gestures? What are the conveying to others? Simple things like standing up straight, meeting someone’s gaze or not crossing your arms gives you an aura of confidence and assurance. In turn, you tend to feel more that way as well.

 

  1. Know ThySelf

What are your strong points, skills, gifts and talents? What are your weaker areas? Play to your strengths and minimize the weaknesses or if you are so inclined, work on them to become stronger.

 

  1. Evaluate

Take an honest look at yourself on every level. Spiritual, emotional, mental, physical. Keep track of your progress as this is sure to change over time.

 

  1. Meditation

It can be a challenge to focus and quiet your mind, just start with something simple like 10 minutes a day. If thoughts come to your mind, brush them away and refocus. Tip: Guided meditation is easier for beginners than silence.

 

For more tips, ideas, classes, one on one sessions, events and seminars please visit www.monarchwellness.net

Originally Posted: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/04/your-self-awareness-guide/

Forgiveness ‘Vs’ Allowance

The concepts of forgiveness and allowance are frequently intermixed and mixed up entirely.  Throughout our lives, there is no doubt that people in our worlds will put us through trials and tribulations. Some to the point where it will make us incredibly angry and push us to our limits.

When someone hurts you, the easy thing is to transfer that anger and hurt into hate. To want to hurt them back and make them feel as badly as you do. The saying “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” holds true. Hurting someone back, though temporarily gratifying, isn’t going to fix anything, and possibly make things worse.

You will hear people ask “How can you ever forgive?” The simple answer is “because I want inner peace.”

Making the choice to forgive someone is a big step. It means letting go of the resentment and pain. It may seem hard to forgive someone when viewed as a gift. After all, you are mad, why would you want to do anything for them? The thing is, when looked at in the proper light, it isn’t for them at all. Forgiveness is for the forgiver not the forgiven.

Forgiving someone does not need to be intermingled with allowing the person to continue with their actions going forward or even allowing them to remain in your life at all.

You can forgive and allow them to remain if they are truly sorry and you feel the connection can be salvaged on both ends or if you don’t believe that to be the case, you can choose to not allow it any further.

Carrying a heavy weight around for the rest of your life every time you think of that event or that person only serves to hurt you, not them. Put it down and walk away.

Monarch Wellness can help. Visit www.monarchwellness.net to view their services and classes.

Originally Posted: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/03/forgiveness-vs-allowance/

Becoming your true self

We live in a people pleasing world. We are taught from a very young age to conform to societal standards of acceptability. We are systematically assigned lessons based on our current age and what we are slated to learn and shuffled through years of education and indoctrination in order and in hopes that we come out the other side of it, productive members of society.

It is left as the responsibility of the parents to encourage their child’s uniqueness to grow and shine. But what if you didn’t happen to grow up in a family where your individuality was encouraged?

What if you made it all the way to adulthood, and still aren’t sure who you are? It sure makes life a lot more difficult.

Getting to really know, appreciate and love yourself is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself. Taking time alone or setting aside days to focus on your own mental and emotional health is vital.

We are, after all, the one and only person who is absolutely guaranteed to be with us our whole life. No matter who comes or go, acquaintance, friend, family member or love, you remain. The more you know and genuinely accept and like yourself the more comfortable you will be not only with yourself but in the presence of others.

Living a happy joyous existence can only happen if you are true to yourself. Follow your feelings, beliefs, and ideals. Say yes when you mean yes, and no when you really mean no. Live without fear of the judgment of others knowing the opinion that really counts in the end when it comes you your life, is you.

You don’t have to make the journey alone. Monarch Wellness offers a whole array of classes geared towards self-exploration and self-growth. Their caring guides and therapists offer the chance to safely explore and push the bounds to test and really find out who you are at a core level.

If you are interested in learning more please visit www.monarchwellness.net and peruse their class schedule.

Originally Published: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/01/becoming-your-true-self/

The Art of Non-Attachment

We all want the very best for friends and family. Many of us have a tendency to take on other people’s problems as if they were our own. We do it out of love, but ironically it can often lead to codependency in relationships as well as self-neglect. I speak from experience in this. My natural inclination in life has been to try and “save” the world, especially those closest to me. Unfortunately, I have found it just doesn’t work that way.

 

It is difficult to watch someone make, what you believe to be, bad decision after bad decision leading his or her life in a negative or non-progressing direction. We want to intervene, even at times – to grab them and shake them and say “what are you doing!?” and literally shove them in a better direction.

 

What we have to realize is that as much as we love or care about them that no one can make decisions for them. The only person who can rescue them… is them.

 

Why do I call Non-Attachment an art?

 

I call it an art because as easy as the concept is, it takes years, sometimes lifetimes to master.

 

It is easy to be jokingly callous and step back saying “Not my circus, not my monkeys”. But it’s heart wrenching and unnerving at times to pull back, relinquish the illusion of control, and simply allow that person and situation to be what it is and to work itself out.

Now in saying this I do not at all mean withdraw love or support.

A simple “I am still here and I love you.” Is one of the best statements of caring you can make to another person. There is no better gift than that of unconditional love. In that gift it allows the other person to know that it is ok to try – succeed or fail, you won’t think less of them and you will still be there.

 

This also allows you the mental and emotional space you need in order to take care of yourself. Getting lost in another person’s issues, regardless of love, is never healthy.

 

In order for anyone to reclaim their life and get it “Back on Track” that drive and power have to come from within. Owning responsibility for their decisions and their actions will lead them to a place of control and from that feeling of self empowerment comes both self esteem and the start of self love.

Written for: The Alberta Street News – Back on Track Column. Columnist: Sarah J. Barendse