Self-Sabotage ~ The Solution You Weren’t Expecting

Guest Author: inlpcenter.org

Self-sabotage should be the last thing anyone does, but it’s the most likely! You’re invited to watch the AHA Process to End Self Sabotage and learn how to stop self-sabotaging behavior.

Please enter your email address and see the video instantly. You’ll also get free articles and tutorials with the iNLP Center newsletter.

This is the worst part of self-sabotaging behavior:

It’s so easy to justify.

…one argument, one trip to the fridge, one beer—and in the moment, they may even seem helpful. But like a river eroding away rocks, self-sabotage creates a Grand Canyon of self-defeat from which it’s hard to climb out.

~ Scientific American

Right? We slip into it without a second thought. In the heat of the moment, we want it. Self-sabotaging behaviors seem like the right thing to do at the time. It may even feel impossible to stop.

What is self-sabotage?

It’s when you get in your own way. And it’s hard to pin down.

  • Procrastination
  • Impulsive actions
  • Arguing
  • Avoiding conflict
  • Giving up on a goal
  • Obsessing about a goal
  • Not speaking up
  • Talking too much
  • Breaking a diet
  • Over-dieting

They’re all self-sabotage. And none of them are. It all depends. And if you really want to get confused, try pinning down the points of view that sabotage you and create self-fulfilling prophecies.

Stopping self-sabotage requires starting somewhere. The AHA Process to End Self-Sabotage video is the first step. Please enter your email address below to get started. The only thing you have to lose is freedom, if you move on without giving the video a few moments. More than 100,000 people have watched it since 2014. We still get feedback from viewers every day. It’s powerful.

Why you should take notes on this video:

If you are self-sabotaging, get your notepad. Write down new insights during the video. Some have called it a missing link in mental health and personal development. That sounds over the top to us. Still,

How is the AHA Process different?

In a world of shallow promises and quick-fix techniques, real solutions are hard to find. Self-sabotage is not a shallow issue. The solution isn’t shallow either. Yet, we present the AHA Process in an easy-to-follow way. You’ll see the concept and hear some simple stories. And it can change your whole feeling about self-sabotage.

Have you ever changed when you learned something that never occurred to you? Take notes. You’re about to discover the “never occurred to you” of self-sabotaging thoughts and behavior.

7 More Self-Sabotage Resources (Most Are free)

#1 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

You can get a free book on the hidden cause of self-sabotage. Your Achilles Eel: It’s a strange little book. Check it out. If you don’t like it, we’re sure you’ll agree it’s different!

Download Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions, and Self-Sabotage. You can also get it on Kindle (nearly free).

#2 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

2. Peter Michaelson’s website is full of unique insights. Peter was instrumental in teaching us the underpinnings of self-sabotaging behavior. We’ll always be grateful for his deep expertise and encouragement.

Check out Peter Michaelson’s Why We Suffer.

My favorite quote from Peter (condensed):

Without realizing it, we make inner choices to feel deprived or refused – or helpless, criticized, rejected, betrayed, or abandoned. Doing this defies common sense, but our unconscious mind operates on irrational, not rational, principles.

He also has a new book out called Who’s Afraid of Inner Truth?

If you don’t like my writing on self sabotage, give Peter’s a chance. If you do like how I treat the subject, give Peter a chance!

#3 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Self sabotage can boil down to inner conflict. Check out this comprehensive piece on Thrive Global. It’s a tour-de-force on the most important issue anyone faces.

Why Inner Conflict is your Most Important Issue

#4 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

The underlying cause of self sabotage is a psychological attachment.

#5 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Here’s an important book unrelated to self sabotage. But M. Scott Peck’s view of discipline, love, and grace is essential to overcoming self-defeating behaviors. If you haven’t read The Road Less Traveled yet, now is the time!

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, MD

#6 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Like the iNLP Center Facebook Page. This may be a shameless promotion, but you’ll get updates on new posts and research. We certify life coaches and teach Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Self-sabotage is a primary area of focus in our personal growth work.

#7 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Check out 20 Ways you Might be Punishing Yourself.

We’ll continue adding resources as time allows.

The Most Important Thing

Don’t give up. I searched for 20 frustrating years for the answer to a simple question:

Why don’t people (myself included) apply what they already know?

Thanks, Nike. You’re right. Do it.

“Yeah, but that’s the problem, isn’t it?” I would reply. “No one is just doing it!”

That got some laughs, and then…nothing. I never pushed further, but the questions plagued me. Why don’t I just do it? What’s wrong with me? Will it ever be different?

The AHA Process to End Self-Sabotage Has Answers

At long last, I understand why we don’t apply what we already know. When I get in my own way, I can get out. And I know how to handle not wanting to get out of my own way. The solution to self-sabotage has changed my life (no, I’m not perfect). I hope your life will change, too (but don’t expect perfection).

Join us and watch our free video. I’ve put too many forms on this page, so this is your last chance:) See you on the other side.

Created by the iNLP Center, used in our NLP Life Coach Certification Online Training.

Originally posted: Self Sabotage ~ The Solution You Weren’t Expecting (inlpcenter.org) Republished with permission.

Don’t Just Deal with Stress – Eliminate it!

In a world filled with alarm clocks, rush hour traffic, deadlines that must be met, bills to pay and mouths to feed – multitasking, sleep deprivation and stress have become the norm.

Everyone has “one of those days” once in a while. But when stress invades and takes over your world becoming a way of life something needs to change. The human body was not meant to operate on coffee and adrenaline on a daily basis. This type of fast pace high-pressure lifestyle takes its toll on your health, your emotional and spiritual well-being as well as your relationships.

What is stress? – Stress is any physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes the body mentally or physically to be in a state of unrest. But what can you do about it? Quite a bit it turns out! I am going out on a limb to make a controversial and shocking statement. Here goes…are you ready? YOU are creating your life. Pure and simple. Because of this, YOU are the only one who can change it and free yourself from this crazy pace that is taking a toll on your very existence.

“What? No, you just don’t understand” you may think to yourself… “It’s not MY fault, it can’t be. I am not the one causing me all this stress it’s my boss, husband, kids, mother in law, insert another possible scapegoat here____.”

While it is true that you cannot control anyone else’s actions, what you can control is your reaction to them.

The first step in eliminating stress from your life on a permanent basis is to start with the basic concept that you are in fact 100% responsible for your life.  Once you do that, you can see clearly what (and sometimes who) is not in your best interest to keep. We know this is a big step for some, but by doing this you not only take responsibility you take back control.

Step two is changing your outlook. What is it that we all want out of life? A new car? A nice house? A vacation to Tahiti? Well, sure. We all like those things. But why? What is at the core of wanting these material items and experiences?

It’s happiness, joy, relaxation, and excitement! I think we can all agree that what we all want most is simple. We want to feel good.

Here are a couple of exercises to help:

When you wake up first thing in the morning jump out of bed and declare out loud “Today is going to be a fantastic day!” You may feel like a complete buffoon doing this at first, and even like you are lying to yourself. It’s ok to feel silly, humor us and do it anyway. Your subconscious hears you and cannot differentiate between the truth and a lie, it believes everything you say to be truth and so accepts it as fact. Believe your day will be fantastic and it will be.

Another very helpful idea is to make a Gratitude List. Any piece of paper will do, just write down everything you have in your life that you feel grateful for. You will be amazed at how much actually ends up on your list. The more you focus on the positive, the more positive you will draw into your life. And in turn, the better you will feel overall!

Some of us start from such a chaotic low place it’s not easy for us to shift to feeling good. Ok, we get that, your goal should be to just feel as good as you can right now. Do something nice for yourself. Take a “me” moment. Go for a walk, have a coffee, just let the world fall away for a minute and allow yourself to be at the center of your world and really be in present time. After all, if you don’t take the time and care for yourself, who will?

Changing the way that you think is no easy task. It takes practice, for the mind is like a child with attention deficit disorder. It runs amuck from thought to thought, making order and serenity difficult at best. Meditation is a good way to practice quieting the mind. Take some time out without distractions and turn on some calm soothing music and just “be” in the stillness. Allow your mind to wander but with the focused intent of being calm and clear and just breathe. With time and practice, you will be able to clear your mind of all thought and you will achieve a serene feeling that will stay with you.

In recent years we have been conditioned in the workplace that in order to succeed we have to do a million things at once and do them correctly. That is a lot of pressure! This is in fact, is not what successful people do. Successful people do one thing at a time with intent and with focus. They use a to-do list not on the computer or on a palm pilot but on good old fashioned paper with a pen or pencil, scratching things off and moving along. Why? Because it’s tactile. It becomes more easily engrained in your mind making it easier to remember.

In order to lead a low-stress existence, let’s summarize:

  1. Take responsibility for your life. By doing so you take back control.
  1. Change our outlook, the old saying “fake it till you make it” is more than true. It’s very difficult to be sad when your face is smiling.
  1. Clear your life of things that stress you out – if you don’t like your job –get another one. The same is to be said for personal relationships – if they are beyond repair, love the other person enough and yourself enough to appreciate it for what it was and what you have learned from them and let it go.
  1. Take time for yourself – be nice to yourself. You are important!
  2. Clear your mind and allow peace to become a part of your daily life and realize that you deserve it.
  1. Organize – When everything is in its proper place it brings balance to both the heart and mind.
  1. Just breathe – oxygen is very important for the body and most of us breathe way too shallowly. Make sure to breathe from your diaphragm – your shoulders should remain still.

Stress is a top cause of many illnesses as it manifests itself in the body in numerous ways – high blood pressure, anxiety, heart attacks, headache, cancer, depression and many others. Taking steps today to simplify and distress your life could save your health and your life tomorrow.

For classes and one on one sessions that can help alleviate stress and help you relax and gain balance back in your life, visit Monarch Wellness www.monarchwellness.net.

Originally Posted: http://monarchwellness.net/2017/02/stress/