Self-Sabotage ~ The Solution You Weren’t Expecting

Guest Author: inlpcenter.org

Self-sabotage should be the last thing anyone does, but it’s the most likely! You’re invited to watch the AHA Process to End Self Sabotage and learn how to stop self-sabotaging behavior.

Please enter your email address and see the video instantly. You’ll also get free articles and tutorials with the iNLP Center newsletter.

This is the worst part of self-sabotaging behavior:

It’s so easy to justify.

…one argument, one trip to the fridge, one beer—and in the moment, they may even seem helpful. But like a river eroding away rocks, self-sabotage creates a Grand Canyon of self-defeat from which it’s hard to climb out.

~ Scientific American

Right? We slip into it without a second thought. In the heat of the moment, we want it. Self-sabotaging behaviors seem like the right thing to do at the time. It may even feel impossible to stop.

What is self-sabotage?

It’s when you get in your own way. And it’s hard to pin down.

  • Procrastination
  • Impulsive actions
  • Arguing
  • Avoiding conflict
  • Giving up on a goal
  • Obsessing about a goal
  • Not speaking up
  • Talking too much
  • Breaking a diet
  • Over-dieting

They’re all self-sabotage. And none of them are. It all depends. And if you really want to get confused, try pinning down the points of view that sabotage you and create self-fulfilling prophecies.

Stopping self-sabotage requires starting somewhere. The AHA Process to End Self-Sabotage video is the first step. Please enter your email address below to get started. The only thing you have to lose is freedom, if you move on without giving the video a few moments. More than 100,000 people have watched it since 2014. We still get feedback from viewers every day. It’s powerful.

Why you should take notes on this video:

If you are self-sabotaging, get your notepad. Write down new insights during the video. Some have called it a missing link in mental health and personal development. That sounds over the top to us. Still,

How is the AHA Process different?

In a world of shallow promises and quick-fix techniques, real solutions are hard to find. Self-sabotage is not a shallow issue. The solution isn’t shallow either. Yet, we present the AHA Process in an easy-to-follow way. You’ll see the concept and hear some simple stories. And it can change your whole feeling about self-sabotage.

Have you ever changed when you learned something that never occurred to you? Take notes. You’re about to discover the “never occurred to you” of self-sabotaging thoughts and behavior.

7 More Self-Sabotage Resources (Most Are free)

#1 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

You can get a free book on the hidden cause of self-sabotage. Your Achilles Eel: It’s a strange little book. Check it out. If you don’t like it, we’re sure you’ll agree it’s different!

Download Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions, and Self-Sabotage. You can also get it on Kindle (nearly free).

#2 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

2. Peter Michaelson’s website is full of unique insights. Peter was instrumental in teaching us the underpinnings of self-sabotaging behavior. We’ll always be grateful for his deep expertise and encouragement.

Check out Peter Michaelson’s Why We Suffer.

My favorite quote from Peter (condensed):

Without realizing it, we make inner choices to feel deprived or refused – or helpless, criticized, rejected, betrayed, or abandoned. Doing this defies common sense, but our unconscious mind operates on irrational, not rational, principles.

He also has a new book out called Who’s Afraid of Inner Truth?

If you don’t like my writing on self sabotage, give Peter’s a chance. If you do like how I treat the subject, give Peter a chance!

#3 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Self sabotage can boil down to inner conflict. Check out this comprehensive piece on Thrive Global. It’s a tour-de-force on the most important issue anyone faces.

Why Inner Conflict is your Most Important Issue

#4 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

The underlying cause of self sabotage is a psychological attachment.

#5 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Here’s an important book unrelated to self sabotage. But M. Scott Peck’s view of discipline, love, and grace is essential to overcoming self-defeating behaviors. If you haven’t read The Road Less Traveled yet, now is the time!

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, MD

#6 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Like the iNLP Center Facebook Page. This may be a shameless promotion, but you’ll get updates on new posts and research. We certify life coaches and teach Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Self-sabotage is a primary area of focus in our personal growth work.

#7 solution for self sabotage, self-sabotage, or self-sabotaging

Check out 20 Ways you Might be Punishing Yourself.

We’ll continue adding resources as time allows.

The Most Important Thing

Don’t give up. I searched for 20 frustrating years for the answer to a simple question:

Why don’t people (myself included) apply what they already know?

Thanks, Nike. You’re right. Do it.

“Yeah, but that’s the problem, isn’t it?” I would reply. “No one is just doing it!”

That got some laughs, and then…nothing. I never pushed further, but the questions plagued me. Why don’t I just do it? What’s wrong with me? Will it ever be different?

The AHA Process to End Self-Sabotage Has Answers

At long last, I understand why we don’t apply what we already know. When I get in my own way, I can get out. And I know how to handle not wanting to get out of my own way. The solution to self-sabotage has changed my life (no, I’m not perfect). I hope your life will change, too (but don’t expect perfection).

Join us and watch our free video. I’ve put too many forms on this page, so this is your last chance:) See you on the other side.

Created by the iNLP Center, used in our NLP Life Coach Certification Online Training.

Originally posted: Self Sabotage ~ The Solution You Weren’t Expecting (inlpcenter.org) Republished with permission.

SELF SABOTAGE

Our lives are a reflection of our how we feel about and what we believe of ourselves. It’s often times easier to look around and see a world in chaos and blame that for the issues in our own lives. The problem with that is it is not only false, that belief also keeps you powerless because so long as the problems are “Someone else’s fault”… You can’t do a darn thing to fix them. It’s immobilizing and can be life halting.

Often times when we end up in a bad situation, whatever it may be, the easiest thing is to point the finger and declare that “I cannot believe so and so did this to me!” In reality, every situation, no matter how screwed up is self created and at the very least co-created with that other party.

That fact has been a tough one to face at times in my own life as I have gotten into some precarious situations I would far rather have owned no part of the responsibility in. Ultimately though, no one got me there but me. Likewise, no one else could get me back.

Self sabotage is never done purposefully and rarely even consciously. It is very often done in the name of self-sacrifice and in an attempt to help or save other people. The intent is viewed as good, even at times altruistic. After all, who on earth would want to make bad decisions for themselves that would harm their life and well-being? No one.

Subconsciously, however, is a whole other ball of wax. Underneath this outer veneer we show the world, and often times ourselves, lies our base primal thoughts and programming. They are what drive us on an instinctual reaction based level.

What phrases or words do you hear in your mind? What thoughts do you think repetitively? They can be things said by parents, friends, enemies, random strangers, whomever. It can even be opinions you have formed about yourself over time… certain thoughts and core level beliefs are there, ingrained and stuck on loop.

Are you holding on to anger, resentment, fear? If you find yourself constantly in a state of feeling like your life is out of control and going in the wrong direction, I can almost guarantee you are subconsciously sabotaging yourself.

How do you change that?

Being brave enough and caring about yourself enough to want to heal is the first step. Being open to facing yourself, truthfully, come what may, is vital. There are no right or wrong answers or feelings here. Like life, it’s all just a learning and growing experience. We are all perfect in our own unique state of imperfection. We are works in progress and self-acceptance which leads to self-love is key.

I have read tons of articles that seem to believe that you can change your behaviors based purely in purposely correcting your thoughts. While I view this as helpful, unless you can root out the core of where that thought came from in the first place and release it I don’t see how it can ever truly be healed. That approach seems more like a bandaid than some good stitches and soothing salve.

One of the best courses I have found on this subject is a DailyOm.com course by the late Debbie Ford. “Overcoming self-sabotage” is an 8 week audio meditation course that helps you to relax and access easily the information from within that you are looking for.

Click Here for the course if you are interested

Topics covered are:

  • Overcoming Self Sabotage
  • Taking Inventory of Your Biggest Life Lessons
  • Breaking Through Toxic Emotions
  • Discovering Your Unmet Needs
  • Breaking the Trance of Denial
  • Maybe You’re Just Hurt
  • Uncovering Unconscious Patterns
  • Feeling Safe in the Face of Fear
  • The Destruction of Hidden Rage
  • Are Your Excuses Keeping You Stuck?
  • The Gifts of Standing in Your Power
  • The Sacred State of Surrender
  • Making Peace with Your Pain
  • Healing the Split Between Ego and Spirit

I did this course myself several years back and was amazed at things that came up I was still holding onto that I had thought I had long gotten over.

Set your intent to allow the release of all that is no longer serving your best and highest good, with ease and grace. 

Let the old fall away and make room for a new better life and a new happier you.

Originally Published: http://www.ibmsmasters.com/component/content/article/15-profiles/32-sarahbarendse