While friends don’t always need to agree on everything there comes a point in many friendships where there just isn’t enough left in common to maintain the bond. Discord becomes the key element and you find yourself being off-put by that person’s energy rather than drawn in as you used to be. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them anymore or that any love you had for them is gone, it does sometimes mean that you may both be better off moving on in life, separately.
Life is to be enjoyed harmoniously with the universe and with others. Anything that seems in opposition to that needs to be released for your own highest good as well as that of the other person.
Many of us have the wrong idea of what a soulmate is. A soul mate is not your perfect or only love match. It is a soul to whom you are deeply connected who have incarnated here on earth and you and they have agreed on a soul level to be one another’s teachers.
When that soul contract comes to completion and the lessons have been learned and one or both soul mates need to move on it can be tough to let go even if you know it is for the best. The depth at which you feel the break is because of the soul level connection you have with that person. That connection, no matter the circumstance, feels like home. It feels familiar and safe. When it becomes necessary to sever that cord, there can be a grieving process much like as if there was a death, because there has been – the death of a friendship or a relationship. It’s the earthly portion of the connection.
Simply put – for as good as that initial connection can make you feel, disconnection can feel equally as bad.
The thing is, you cannot keep hanging on to old lessons. When you attend school, once you complete the class, no matter how good of a time you had, if you passed, you must move forward. There are no 40-year-old sophomores in high school for a reason. You just don’t belong there any longer. Relationships and friendships, when soul contracted, can work in much the same way.
Dr. Seuss had it right. “Smile because it happened, don’t be sad because it’s over.” Thank your soul mate for the growth and the lessons (good or bad – it’s only a judgment anyway). Do your best to focus on other things and people in your world and move forward asking for only people, places, experiences and circumstances that are in your best and highest interest. If possible, let them know that on that soul level you love them but that in this physical plane, it is time for you to go.
Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and know that this too shall pass. Trust the Universe that they will move on as well and be ok without you.
Life is nothing but a series of experiences and lessons. Love, laugh, learn and move on just doing the best you can for your own personal growth and those around you that you care about.
Sometimes it is simply time to move on to the next chapter so you can see what’s next.
Mr. Pooh had been adopted at the age of 6 after him and his brother both were left to fend for themselves when their owner, a little old lady, had died. They were in the apartment with her until she was found, they think several days. It was clear by their condition that she had not been able to really take good care of them for some time.
I had seen Pooh online on Petfinders.com, and at the time could not take two dogs. I wrote to the shelter and told them “If you are unable to place them together, I would really like to adopt the little red one.” I heard nothing back until one day three months later when I got a phone call which stated that his brother had been adopted and Pooh was sitting alone in his cage and had been for a month and did I still want him.
Of course I did.
I drove from Tampa all the way to Miami to pick him up. He was the cutest little mess I had ever seen. No one wanted him because he was in such bad shape. His eyes were totally crusted over, as he had severe dry eye and was mostly blind from lack of care, no hair on his back end because of mange and previously fleas, he was skinny as he had not eaten well. But beyond all that was the cutest little soul I had ever seen. I fell in love instantly. The staff seemed relieved and happy that I still wanted him when I saw him in person.
He had no idea how to walk on a leash and he really could not see where he was going.
Over time, with lots of love, care, good food and medical care he became one of the cutest happiest little creatures I have ever seen. Everyone who met him fell in love and the people who said “THAT’S the dog you picked?” finally could see what I saw in him.
We spent 10 wonderful years together.
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After a weekend out of town, I came home and walked in the door as usual, said “Hi Lil’ Pooh!” and looked down. He didn’t move, and looked like he was sleeping. I bent down, and nudged him… Nothing… “Pooh?” I rolled him a little.
His eyes were totally crusted over, worse than I had ever seen… He moved a little. I cleaned out his eyes and he blinked at me. “Oh, poor lil pooh!” I said and kissed him on the forehead. He was very hot. Then I realized he wasn’t really moving.
I kept talking to him and rubbing him, but he seemed like he was paralyzed. I scooped him up and went to the ER Vet. Half way there he started trying to stand up. He was very wobbly, shaky and hot. They did x rays and blood work….. He had a mass/tumor in his chest pressing on his heart if not in it. It was also pressing against his esophagus which was shoved over at least 2 inches off of where it should have been. He had a bad infection and an inoperable mass.
They tried to send me home with me with antibiotics to see if we could clear the infection. I sat with him, and he was shaking, and hot and falling over…. I cried and talked to him and tried my best to comfort him, but he just looked so frail.
I couldn’t make him go on. I sat and hugged him and told him he wouldn’t have crusty eyes, or aching hips, or itchy skin or any pain anymore and that he would be free. He looked right at me and I know he understood. He was a smart little dog who understood English when he chose to.
Josh, my ex and best friend, called and said goodbye to him on the phone and pooh kissed the phone and then kissed me. They had already put the catheter in his little leg, and it was wrapped in a snazzy red bandage. I held him in my arms and they gave him the injection. I stroked his little fuzzy head and told him to go to sleep and he would feel better….He looked peaceful, then went limp. …….
Interestingly………..The tech at the ER clinic says “Oh my he looks just like my little dog who passed last month”….. After talking? I think it might have been Pooh’s brother Teddy! He was from the same rescue and right about the same time frame.
They thought I was a little nuts, but as I was so sad and upset they humored me. I asked them to weigh Pooh after he passed. I had seen studies that said the soul weighs 4 oz……… he weighed 3 oz. less than he had only 30 minutes earlier.
Right after he left his body my good friend Jen said that she saw white sparkles of light where Pooh used to sit in her house. The next night I heard his collar jingle in my kitchen. (His collar was in the car). So, the little fuzzy love of my life, though gone in physical form, and missed beyond what breaks my heart, is still around as a little lhasa spirit.
Looking back, I think he had been in the process of dying when I came home. I think he stuck around and managed to struggle back to life to say good bye to me, which I cherish and appreciate more than words could ever express. I love you forever Mr. Pooh Lhasa Apso. You came into my life and you changed me.
Thank you for being a part of my life little dog. I could never imagine it having happened without you.
Sarah & Her Lil Pooh
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“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss